Alien Sideboob

John Birmingham
The column they wouldn't let me write for you.
Created 17 Apr 2020
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  • Lockdown, mortality, and imaging artefacts. (Updater).
    30 Jul 2021 • 1 min read • 44 12
    Hey, it’s me, JB, again. I had such a strong reaction to this piece that I decided to set it free and send it out to the whole list. A lot of readers reached out to say it captured something of their ...
  • Lockdown, mortality and imaging artefacts
    30 Jul 2021 • 6 min read • 116 95
    A few weeks into this sprawling mess of a half-national lockdown, I imagined that I was going to die. I was in a doctor’s office, talking to a respiratory specialist about the strange chest infection ...
  • Defamation not such a sweet little honey pot no mo’.
    21 Jul 2021 • 3 min read • 19 14
    [This week’s column is earlier and, to be honest a bit lighter, because I’m writing from a hospital room waiting to go into surgery, so I’m gonna be a bit out of it for a while. I’ve set last week’s c...
  • The MVP of arseing everything up.
    16 Jul 2021 • 3 min read • 39 14
    I feel sorry for Greg Hunt. Who? You know. Greg Hunt. The Health Minister? The worst sidekick ever? The pandemic’s floppy limbed Jar Jar Binks to Scott Morrison’s Supreme Leader Snoke? (What d’you mea...
  • Holy crap this Jack Waterford beat down of Morrison is epic.
    13 Jul 2021 • < 1 min read • 1 3
    From John Menadue’s blog. His party and the electorate know by now the most they can expect from him. It is not impossible that this ‘most’ could see him leader at the next election, perhaps still pri...
  • Waiting for Godot's vaccine shipment
    09 Jul 2021 • 3 min read • 29 21
    Share Scotty the cubby house curry king emerged from internal exile yesterday, startlingly thick of hairplug and frowny of smirkface, to pronounce that he was sticklian-with-Berejiklian. It was his fi...
  • Militarise everything.
    02 Jul 2021 • < 1 min read • 27 18
    Fuck yeah. Army guys. Is there anything they can’t do? No, there’s not. But if there was it wouldn’t matter because some Navy guys or Air Force guys would be right along to help out. This crazy modern...
  • Bonerby rides again.
    25 Jun 2021 • 4 min read • 28 10
    No sooner had Bonerby promised us all he’d grown into a better man during his long, bitter, underpaid, undeserved, no good terrible very bad years in exile, than he threw a headlock on his own gubberm...
  • The delicious snuggie of self regard. (Updated)
    18 Jun 2021 • 4 min read • 24 16
    Share The thing about show trials is, they’re a bit fucking showy. The Australian writer Yang Hengjun, currently waiting to find out whether it suits the maximum panda Xi Jinping to have him shot in t...
  • A little touch of racism, and sepsis.
    11 Jun 2021 • 4 min read • 40 8
    Since 2010 we have killed more than forty people in our various island prisons, scattered in a vast arc of nearly 7000 kms, stretching from Christmas Island to Nauru. Seeking asylum they found only pu...