my candle burns

Amy Bornman
occasional unpolished essays by amy bornman – about motherhood and poetry and spirituality and everything else
Created 27 Jan 2021
  • ten-thousand strollers
    16 Sep 2021 • 12 min read • 3 0
    I keep thinking about how I want to buy a lightweight stroller. The thing is that I already own a very good stroller that is pretty light, but not *super* lightweight, and it also lives in our car tru...
  • lost mind
    03 Aug 2021 • 12 min read • 7 1
    When I became a mom, I lost my mind. I mean that literally, not euphemistically. My mind as I knew it was gone. This loss has really been hitting me lately, mostly because I’ve been trying to use my m...
  • postpartum, balletic
    06 Jul 2021 • 8 min read • 8 2
    When my baby had only just been born, one or two weeks old, I watched every ballet documentary I could get my hands on while clusterfeeding him. I was a dancer once, spending most high school afternoo...
  • twenty-eight
    20 Jun 2021 • 7 min read • 2 0
    Very shortly after Thomas was born (like an hour after), my friend Hannah, having immediately done Thomas’ birth chart, texted me “born with the moon in cancer, he’s little green!” There, a flash of r...
  • childcare
    08 Jun 2021 • 5 min read • 2 0
    I’ve had consistent childcare for three weeks now. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, three days a week, my mom comes from 11-5. That’s six hours. Six hours interspersed with still nursing the baby and puttin...
  • fragmented
    19 May 2021 • 8 min read • 4 0
    I’ve been wanting for a few weeks now to muster up some writing to send, and all I have is an excerpt from a longer project-in-progress — because shouldn’t all this writing become something bigger? I’...
  • artless
    16 Apr 2021 • 6 min read • 1 1
    I’ve been thinking about loons. When I feel very off balance, I listen to this weird album I found on spotify of various loon call soundscapes. It’s so comforting to me. I lived for a few summers and ...
  • scuba diving
    20 Mar 2021 • 14 min read • 1 0
    As a postpartum person, you can waste a lot of time asking yourself continually, “do I have postpartum depression?”. You fill out screening questionnaire after screening questionnaire at the doctor’s ...
  • The Fourth Trimester
    20 Feb 2021 • 10 min read • 3 0
    Babies come into focus gradually but quickly, like a polaroid picture fading into color. I remember one day a week or two ago fretting because “Tommy doesn’t make enough eye contact, oh no!”, only to ...
  • this is not a diaper
    09 Feb 2021 • 19 min read • 1 0
    Note: This is going to be like a food blog where there’s a big essay before the recipe! If you’re here for the cloth diaper tips / method stuff and for that alone, I get it, scroll on down past all my...
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