Ask Polly

Heather Havrilesky
Advice from Heather Havrilesky, author of Ask Polly, formerly of New York Magazine
Created 16 Feb 2020
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  • 'I Can't Stop Punishing Myself in Small Ways!'
    21 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 27 5
    Morning Glory with Black (1926) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I can’t stop punishing myself in small ways. When I moved to the U.S. a decade ago, from halfway across the world, I felt like an alien ...
  • ‘I’m Embarrassed by My Once Thriving, Now Stalling Career!’
    18 Oct 2021 • 10 min read • 43 5
    It Was Green and Blue (1960) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, When the pandemic hit, I was sure I’d lose my job. I was a new hire — I moved here for this position months prior to COVID escalating — and...
  • 'My Boyfriend Says I Can't See a Movie at Night With a Male Colleague!'
    13 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 40 23
    White Bird of Paradise (1939) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, My boyfriend and I are in a very loving and trusting relationship. We laugh together and have great, clear communication, and especially s...
  • 'I'm 50 and I'm So Tired of Jittery Men'
    11 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 42 23
    Cow’s Skull with Calico Roses (1931) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, On the one hand, I've arrived at 50 fit and happy with the life I've made. I've weathered an emotionally abusive mother and alcohol...
  • 'How Do I Just Be a Fucking Adult?'
    06 Oct 2021 • 12 min read • 68 7
    My Shanty, Lake George (1922) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I am lost. I turned 25 last week. I still feel 17. I'm a high achiever, but I'm becoming sick of achieving anything. For the first 22 year...
  • 'I'm Unlucky in Love and It's Making Me Feel Hopeless'
    04 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 51 16
    Two Yellow Leaves (1928) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I have had a few years of very bad luck in love, and it is starting to make me feel hopeless. I'm a 35-year-old writer who has achieved success...
  • 'My Husband Left Me and I'm So Alone'
    01 Oct 2021 • 5 min read • 112 115
    The Black Place (1944) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I am writing to you because I am desperate, sad, lonely, and sick. My marriage has rapidly deteriorated since I decided not to accept certain thi...
  • ‘I Should Be Over This Breakup by Now’
    30 Sep 2021 • < 1 min read • 48 4
    Lake George, Autumn 1922 by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I recently separated from my partner of three years. He initiated it. In a year of what felt like endless engagements, pregnancies, and divorce...
  • 'My Ex-Friend Tells Everyone I'm Toxic!'
    27 Sep 2021 • < 1 min read • 46 17
    Waterfall, No. 2, Īao Valley (x) by Georgia O’Keeffe Hi Polly. I had a friend, Kelly. We were best friends throughout our 20s. We were very single together, one another's emergency contacts, made sure...
  • 'I've Always Been Codependent and Now I'm Alone'
    22 Sep 2021 • < 1 min read • 49 17
    Petunia No. 2 (1924) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, When you wrote to “I can’t stop being perfect,” I cried and cried on the steps of the New York Public Library. When I was 13, my mother was murdere...
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