Ask Polly

Heather Havrilesky
Advice from Heather Havrilesky, author of Ask Polly, formerly of New York Magazine
Created 16 Feb 2020
  • 'I Hate Work!'
    17 Nov 2021 • 15 min read • 54 8
    Pattern of Leaves (1923) by Georgia O’Keeffe Hi Polly, I’m a 25 year old and I’m burned out. I work in a field I like, but my boss thinks I don’t work fast enough even though the pace has made me so s...
  • Keep It Simple
    15 Nov 2021 • < 1 min read • 45 8
    Evening Star No. III (1917) by Georgia O’Keeffe Whenever you experience a surge of understanding or insight about who you are and how you operate, it can be tempting to use that knowledge against your...
  • 'Why Aren’t You Texting Me Back?!!'
    10 Nov 2021 • 16 min read • 63 40
    I used to see relationships as incredibly complicated, like two necklaces tangled up together. The more you tried to pull them apart, the more knotted they got. But after years of writing this column,...
  • 'We Couldn't Have Kids, and Now My Clueless In-Laws Are Tormenting Us!"
    08 Nov 2021 • < 1 min read • 30 16
    Rust Red Hills (1930) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, This year, after more than a decade of grueling effort, the last few in the adoption process, my husband and I stopped trying to have a child. It'...
  • "Should I Just Give Up on My Writing?"
    03 Nov 2021 • 13 min read • 54 15
    Brown and Tan Leaves (1928) by Georgia O’Keeffe Last night I was talking to my husband about the pros and cons of newsletters, and I remembered this column about an almost-50-year-old writer who’s afr...
  • 'I'm Secretly Vain and It's Gross!'
    01 Nov 2021 • < 1 min read • 32 25
    A Sunflower from Maggie (1928) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I’ve got this problem with feeling absolutely disgusted with myself for wanting to feel attractive. I know this is a natural human impuls...
  • 'Aging is Scary and Life is a Struggle!'
    27 Oct 2021 • 12 min read • 86 18
    Winter Cottonwoods East V (1954) by Georgia O’Keeffe I woke up this morning thinking about the phrase “twinklings and twinges” from a Gwendolyn Brooks poem, then I remembered this column, which origin...
  • 'I'm Going to Lose My Perfect Boyfriend and I'm Panicking!'
    25 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 46 8
    Autumn Trees, The Maple (1924) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I am in a relationship with a fantastic and gorgeous (so so so gorgeous) man, who I think I could be falling in love with and the more in...
  • 'I Can't Stop Punishing Myself in Small Ways!'
    21 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 33 5
    Morning Glory with Black (1926) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, I can’t stop punishing myself in small ways. When I moved to the U.S. a decade ago, from halfway across the world, I felt like an alien ...
  • ‘I’m Embarrassed by My Once Thriving, Now Stalling Career!’
    18 Oct 2021 • 10 min read • 45 5
    It Was Green and Blue (1960) by Georgia O’Keeffe Dear Polly, When the pandemic hit, I was sure I’d lose my job. I was a new hire — I moved here for this position months prior to COVID escalating — and...
  • View More on Substack »