bookbear express

Ava Huang
Created 12 Dec 2019
  • choosing awareness
    05 Apr 2022
    Jean-Michel Basquiat, Bird on Money, 1981 When you start playing with awareness it’s easy to become obsessed. Everyone I know who’s gotten deep enough marvels at how much their perception changes in w...
  • spell states
    01 Apr 2022
    Hurvin Anderson, Limestone Wall, 2020 When I say “spell state” I’m referring to certain emotional states that hold us absolutely in their thrall—you know, under a spell. Falling in love, being in a cu...
  • release
    29 Mar 2022
    Nicolas de Stael For a long time I held onto the belief that things could be different. I think this is always the mistake I make: I really am extremely forgiving. When someone does something that rev...
  • what makes me feel grounded
    27 Mar 2022
    Nicolas de Staël, Agrigente I moved to a new apartment in New York four days ago and realized that this is the seventh house/apartment I’ve lived in during the last two years (three in Park City, thre...
  • how can we be the right kind of together?
    25 Mar 2022
    Alexei Jawlensky, Murnau, 1910 A couple months ago, a friend asked me about being more independent. That’s a loaded topic for me, since historically I haven’t been as independent as I’d like to be. I’...
  • Dear Bear: I got everything I wanted, but I'm still unhappy
    20 Mar 2022
    Lee Krasner, Noon, 1949 Dear Bear, I’m frustrated. I had a lot of plans for my life when I was younger and I had ideas about what I wanted it to look like. I’ve exceeded all my own expectations and ye...
  • how to have healthier relationships (?!)
    17 Mar 2022
    Richard Diebenkorn, Still Life with Orange Peel, 1953 There are only two things in the world I’m decent at: writing and people. Luckily, they happen to constitute the entirety of my life. I think I’ve...
  • losing selves
    12 Mar 2022
    Milton Avery, Lamb Resting, 1953 I’m thinking about the way things appear and disappear to us over time. In yoga, for example, if I’m practicing enough, I’ll notice that my body has loosened enough to...
  • deep work
    07 Mar 2022
    Sanya Kantarovsky, The House of the Spider, 2021 You are reading the free version of Bookbear Express. If you like it, please consider subscribing to the paid version for additional essays and weekly ...
  • Dear Bear: Will I ever be loved unconditionally?
    05 Mar 2022
    Joan Mitchell, Untitled, 1979 I've always wanted the people that I've dated more than they want me. I get easily jealous and insecure in relationships, all the while trying to adapt to my partner's ne...
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