bitches gotta eat!

samantha irby
judge mathis recaps + occasional sad garbage
Created 17 Dec 2018
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  • things i am watching and/or reading and/or listening to instead of doing my work
    08 Apr 2022
    “holding back” banks on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat on repeat...
  • who's on judge mathis today? #219
    18 Mar 2022
    plaintiff: tracy from new orleans, louisiana. tracy is serving a very specific brand of early 90s realness that can only be described as (pardon me for this EXTREMELY NICHE vibe that maybe eight of yo...
  • who's on judge mathis today? #218
    18 Mar 2022
    plaintiff: shannon from lawrence, michigan. HELLO, NEIGHBOR. shannon looks very sad, like she’s the one getting sued? she’s wearing a black funeral suit and has her blonde hair parted in the middle an...
  • things i am watching and/or reading and/or listening to instead of doing my work
    02 Mar 2022
    this marc rebillet motivational song that i listen to 100x a day “you gotta show up if you wanna get it done / if you wanna get it done you gotta show up / if you wanna get some shit done, bitch / you...
  • who's on judge mathis today? #217
    16 Feb 2022
    plaintiff: sady from hobart, indiana. sady is wearing a very chic, expensive-looking black tunic (think eileen fisher, you can always tell when a sort of-fat white lady has money because she will be d...
  • who's on judge mathis today? #216
    09 Feb 2022
    plaintiff: anthony from fort wayne, indiana. anthony looks like he just found out he had to come to court, realized he didn’t have anything appropriate to wear, then hastily borrowed a such from his (...
  • who was on judge mathis yesterday? #215
    02 Feb 2022
    plaintiff: david from san diego, california. man i love san diego so much; i need some sunshine and a rolled taco in a very bad way! anyway, david is wearing his nicest church suit, a shiny dark beige...
  • who was on judge mathis yesterday? #214
    29 Jan 2022
    plantiff: dontea from long beach, california. dontea is reasonably handsome, your standard bald-head-sculpted-beard-huge-watch kind of fella, but he is sexily biting his lower lip as he walks into the...
  • who's on judge mathis today? #213
    21 Jan 2022
    plaintiff: marlena from grand view, missouri. marlena is serving miss laura snatching her wig off on def jam (click that, you’re welcome) realness and i am instantly besotted. boy do i love a woman wh...
  • who's on judge mathis today? #212
    19 Jan 2022
    plaintiff: marshell from cincinatti, ohio. marshell is serving some real jackeé harry realness, which is wild because i was literally just texting jenny about who should play whom if there was a 227 r...
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