Keep Out

Brian Burns
Excerpts from my "private" diaries, from the fourth grade to the present.
Created 15 Dec 2020
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  • On Christmas Blues
    22 Dec 2021 • 5 min read • 1 0
    Art: Austin Blake Mays December 25, 2009 Montville, New Jersey I was 16 years old Christmas was nice. Always good to see everyone. Jillian looked fierce, as usual. Shiny cardigan, red shirt, black ski...
  • On The Nutrient Rich Bitch
    15 Dec 2021 • 5 min read • 2 1
    Art: Austin Blake Mays December 16, 2018 I was 25 years old Boston, Massachusetts We got back to Kyéra’s place and she pretty immediately turned on an episode of Westworld and I pretty immediately fel...
  • On Going to the Movies
    08 Dec 2021 • 5 min read • 1 2
    Art: Austin Blake Mays January 27, 2019 New York, New York I was 25 years old Saw The Wizard of Oz with Austin this afternoon. Got to his place around 1:00 but we had a quick turn-around to the theate...
  • On Moving Away From Boston
    01 Dec 2021 • 6 min read • 4 3
    Art: Austin Blake Mays May 29, 2018 Boston, Massachusetts I was 24 years old Did some tentative packing this morning but it was too beautiful outside to dedicate more than a couple hours to that endea...
  • On Being 27 Years Old
    24 Nov 2021 • 9 min read • 1 1
    Art: Austin Blake Mays November 25, 2020 Gilford, New Hampshire I was (almost) 27 years old November 25th. Twenty-seven years old. Crazy. Though it’s been my go-to line all day that there were still h...
  • On Almost Losing My Virginity
    17 Nov 2021 • 6 min read
    Art: Austin Blake Mays December 20, 2013 Boston, Massachusetts I was 20 years old Almost had sex last weekend. And how tragically comical is that sentence? There’s this guy Jack* on the cross country ...
  • On Meeting David Sedaris
    10 Nov 2021 • 8 min read
    Art: Austin Blake Mays June 4, 2017 Cambridge, Massachusetts I was 23 years old David Sedaris’s new book is out. Theft By Finding. A collection of his diaries from 1977 (when he was 21) to 2002. Could...
  • On Getting Attacked by Whitey Bulger's Cousin
    03 Nov 2021 • 8 min read • 2 1
    Art: Austin Blake Mays April 17, 2017 Boston, Massachusetts I was 23 years old Despite my literal nightly prayer for protection before each and every overnight shift at the hotel, I had quite the run-...
  • On All My Halloween Costumes
    27 Oct 2021 • 7 min read • 1 1
    Art: Austin Blake Mays October 26, 2019 Brooklyn, New York I was 25 years old Patrick invited us to a party for tonight but it didn’t start until 11:00. So there was no rush getting home from work and...
  • On Junior Year of High School
    20 Oct 2021 • 5 min read • 1 1
    Art: Austin Blake Mays May 22, 2011 Gilford, New Hampshire I was 17 years old The spring play needed some background roles filled and my friend Sidney (the cutest—I adore her) was super excited about ...
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