Con’s Newsletter

Con Chapman
Jazz and absurdities.
Created 12 Jul 2021
  • Among the Sneaky F***ing Hominids
    04 Oct 2021 • 4 min read
    When alpha males are preoccupied with fighting, weaker bystander males can take advantage of the commotion to mate with otherwise inaccessible females. This is actually known among zoologists as the “...
  • Your Notary Public Action Reporter
    03 Oct 2021 • 6 min read
    Notary public fees are going through the roof, as much as $2 to $5 for a single signature! Many–well, a few–are starting to ask “Who will notarize the notaries? Who will authenticate the authenticator...
  • Walk for Low Sperm Count Lacks Potent Numbers
    02 Oct 2021 • 1 min read
    WAYLAND, Mass. It’s the first weekend of the annual fall charity walk season, and Lisa Montelo wants to be the early bird that catches the worm. “C’mon,” she says to her husband Jack, who is sitting i...
  • A Day in the Life of an Extremely Minor Playwright
    01 Oct 2021 • 3 min read
    Imaginary friends who I make up for purposes of poorly-sourced articles often ask me “What’s it like to be a published playwright whose works have been performed off-off-off-off-off-off-off (continued...
  • Guy Named Mike Announces 2021 "Freakin' Genius" Grants
    30 Sep 2021 • 1 min read
    WORCESTER, Mass. Three close friends of Mike Andruzzioni, a part-time cab dispatcher who also tends bar, were among the recipients of the 2021 Michael C. Andruzzioni “Freakin’ Genius” grants, awarded ...
  • "60 Under 60" List Honors the No-Longer Youthful
    28 Sep 2021 • 1 min read
    BOSTON. Carl Zucker was crushed in 1979 when he didn’t make the annual “30 Under 30″ list of the Boston Weekly Merchant, a feature that highlights up-and-coming members of the city’s business communit...
  • Pahk Your Kahma in Hahvahd Yahd
    27 Sep 2021 • 2 min read • 1 0
    Yoga instructions have been added to parking citations in Cambridge, Massachusetts, to “debunk the idea that all parking tickets are a hostile action.” The Boston Globe It ain’t easy bein’ a meter mai...
  • Ask the Love Shark
    26 Sep 2021 • 4 min read
    Bitten by hopeless infatuation? Hungry for red-blooded romance? Ask Love Shark for help–summer’s over, things are kind of slow. Dear Love Shark: I am head cheerleader at Grain Valley Consolidated Regi...
  • On Faulkner's Birthday, Mailmen Ask "What If?"
    25 Sep 2021 • 1 min read
    OXFORD, Miss. This college town of approximately 19,000 was once home to William Faulkner, one of the greatest novelists of the 20th century, but before he became famous, Faulkner was postmaster at th...
  • FTC Cracks Down on Hyperbolic "Humorists"
    24 Sep 2021 • 2 min read
    NEEDHAM, Mass. It’s 6 a.m. in this town of 31,000 west of Boston and Jim “Hat Trick” Hamtramick has just turned on his computer to write his daily post for “Crazy Suburban Dad,” the “blog” by which he...
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