The Holiday Thing

Sporadic, poorly researched dispatches about the holiday season.
Created 30 Nov 2020
  • Happy Christmas
    25 Dec 2021 • < 1 min read
    I don’t know what’s going on here, and frankly, I don’t care. It’s Christmas, dagnabbit, and I hope you’re having a merry ol’ time like these two weirdos! Thank you for reading along with me this year...
  • Visions of sugarplums and rat kings
    23 Dec 2021 • 2 min read
    Just look at this absolute nightmare fuel. If someone sent me this as a Christmas greeting, I’d send them a flaming bag of dog turds. Or a fruitcake. In songs and stories about the holiday season, dre...
  • Figgy pudding
    22 Dec 2021 • 1 min read
    Rarely will my gun-toting, eagle-saluting American ass allow the British to gloat about anything unchecked. But I do have to allow them their sense of superiority in all things Christmas. They get it....
  • Yule
    21 Dec 2021 • 1 min read
    While “Yule” has become interchangeable with every other winter holiday greeting, it’s actually its own thing, thank you very much. Yuletide stretches from the winter solstice through the new year. Th...
  • The clip show
    17 Dec 2021 • 1 min read
    Guys, I have been a little slow at posting this December. Fortunately, I promised nothing and you guys know me better than to expect me to deliver even that much. The vibes seem to be low this year. I...
  • Right jolly old elf
    14 Dec 2021 • 2 min read
    There are few figures so perfectly engrained in our minds as Santa Claus. You can picture him: red suit, white fur trim, black belt, white beard, red cheeks, bowl full of jelly, eight (plus one) reind...
  • Flora
    13 Dec 2021 • 2 min read
    dootsie_bug A post shared by Dootsie (@dootsie_bug) I made a post… uh… a few years ago? about holiday florals, but it’s worth revisiting since I just nabbed a new son for myself. Christmas Cactus It’s...
  • Time to pick a team...
    03 Dec 2021 • 2 min read
    Playlist: To Heck with Ole Santa Claus One thing I really love about the holiday season is the punishment. Been naughty? The Elf on the Shelf is going to tell Santa, and that means you’re only getting...
  • Obligatory Christmas movie list.
    30 Nov 2021 • 3 min read
    I know, I know. I’m not the first person to make a list of Christmas movies, and this won’t be the last one foisted upon you this year. I’m even sure I’ve done it, I’m just too lazy to go look. But pa...
  • Fried, filled and festive
    29 Nov 2021 • 1 min read
    I’m not saying that the best holidays are celebrated with donuts. I’m just saying that they don’t hurt. Sufganiyot are Israeli filled, sugared donuts served during Hanukkah (as are many fried foods, t...
  • View More on Substack »