Egg Report

Egg Report
etymology party tricks/satire for the edutainment of the deaf and blind. an anonymous support group for handsome men
Created 25 May 2021
  • You don't have to do everything yourself
    30 Dec 2021 • 3 min read • 16 7
    I bench one plate. 60 kg x 10. I could do a lot more, but I don't know how much. I started with the dumbbells two years ago. That’s why it’s x10. Low weight high reps was the only thing I could do, be...
  • "Who cares"
    25 Dec 2021 • 6 min read • 18 1
    I’m alive guys Its been a difficult couple of months for me. Things were turning around in a big way, things are. I’m very fit, healthy. Feeling better than i have in my entire adult life. Better rela...
  • the war on Christmas
    25 Dec 2021 • 2 min read • 20 6
    True friendship is so rare. The only friend I ever had, the only TRUE friend, who made me feel seen and known, is a man I should have killed. For my own sake and for the worlds, both. To this day he i...
  • Rehosting "Violence"
    21 Nov 2021 • 13 min read • 9 0
    originally posted Oct 31, 2018 Last spring, a stranger got in a fistfight and almost died on the street, just below the window of my office. He looked to be late forties, early fifties. Fat, but not o...
    21 Nov 2021 • 6 min read • 9 1
    originally posted Aug 24, 2018 Samson Slays a Lion, Gustave Doré I’m growing my hair out again. I cut it last year. Buzzed myself completely bald. It’s at that terrible border-area length where you ca...
  • Rehosting "Nameless Women, Faceless Men"
    21 Nov 2021 • 8 min read • 5 0
    originally posted Aug 14, 2018 Baile de Máscaras, Frederik Hendrik Kaemmerer Before I became a 1950’s dad avatar on the internet, I had a small twitter account with my face on it. Two things made me b...
  • Rehosting "Hardboiled Catfish"
    21 Nov 2021 • 6 min read • 8 1
    originally posted Aug 5, 2018 “Madonna”, Edward Munch 1894 A couple of weeks ago, I did a bit at an open mic. The next morning, I awoke to find a red dot on Facebook. A young redhead, with a profile l...
  • Rehosting "There is No Rock Bottom"
    21 Nov 2021 • 3 min read • 6 0
    Originally posted 27/02/2018 Fall of the Damned into Hell, Hieronymus Bosch, 1490. Drinking every day, you build a moat around your mind. I had lost sense of time. Every day was interchangeable. In th...
  • Rehosting "Are You Happy?"
    21 Nov 2021 • 6 min read • 6 0
    Originally posted 20/02/2018 Last week I attended a poetry recital. Being an old liar, listening to people spill their guts in public feels like showering. Everyone lies a little bit all the time, and...
  • Housekeeping
    21 Nov 2021 • < 1 min read • 6 1
    I was invited to talk a bit on a podcast. It’s a bit short because it can be difficult to coordinate stuff with a 9 hour time difference. You can check it out if you want to ruin your internal picture...
  • View More on Substack »