Ask E. Jean

E. Jean Carroll
Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by Confusion? Ask E. Jean is the longest currently-running advice column in American publishing.
Created 28 Mar 2021
  • Purls Before Swine
    13 Jan 2022 • 2 min read • 16 142
    Crafty Reader, Are You a Knitter? A Crocheter? A Fiber Artist? Of course you are! Would You Insult a Friend’s Project? No? Welll, listen to this: Just when we’d all managed to purl our way through the...
  • Trapped in a Bad Porno
    07 Jan 2022 • 2 min read • 27 199
    Ask E. Jean is a genius-supported publication. And YOU are a genius, right? Dear E. Jean: I’ve met a wonderful guy. He’s smart, funny, considerate, and so incredibly hot I can’t even put it into words...
  • I'm Too Sexy For . . . My Tennis Club???
    06 Jan 2022 • 3 min read • 26 144
    Norway’s Women’s Beach Handball Team Was Fined for Wearing This: Instead of This: The European Handball Federation fined the Norwegian women 150 euros each for wearing shorts instead of bikini bottoms...
  • Thread: Loathe or Love
    29 Dec 2021 • < 1 min read • 109 307
    Darlings! Continuing our famous week of ceding control of Ask E. Jean to the incandescent and kooky Conflab—(our regular programming will be back next Tuesday with the usual apocalyptic problem of amo...
  • Thread: Smarter or Dumber?
    28 Dec 2021 • < 1 min read • 140 133
    Darlings! Without revealing your age: Are you growing duller? Or, brighter? Are you gaining charm? Or losing charm? Are you sexier? Or prissy-er? In a word: Are you growing smarter or dumber? Let’s co...
  • THREAD: What's Your Unique Flaw?
    27 Dec 2021 • < 1 min read • 116 177
    Darling! What’s your unique imperfection? Your secret defect? P.S. Not your bullshit foible which you mention in job interviews—”Oh! I’m just too organized!”—we’re talkin’ your real, ornery, super-pow...
  • Thread: Let's Get Drunk!
    26 Dec 2021 • 1 min read • 63 102
    It’s the Only Way There are 49,000,211 ways to be drunk. You can be drunk on bourbon, drunk on love, drunk on music, drunk on running, drunk on books, drunk on movies, drunk on Charles Baudelaire’s po...
  • The Award No Man Wants to Win
    24 Dec 2021 • 2 min read • 12 72
    Who Was Extra-Naughty in 2021? Reader! When a chump borrows your car and returns it with a wheel missing, or peels your clitoris like a soft-boiled egg, or buys you a “Christmas lingerie set” which he...
  • Thread: Scoundrel of the Year
    20 Dec 2021 • < 1 min read • 88 109
    Hail, Darlings! TIME magazine completely screwed-up its Person of the Year. Instead of heaping praise on this chap… … Or the woman who stood strong against the Insurrection and continued counting vote...
    18 Dec 2021 • < 1 min read • 11 16
    4:30 Eastern Time! Today!! Here is the link! And the invite! E. Jean Carroll is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting. Top...
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