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Megan Koester
Unmarketable missives from comedy's littlest victim
Created 14 Jul 2020
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  • This Land Ain’t Your Land
    29 Nov 2021 • 6 min read
    My favorite thing to do when driving through the vast wasteland that connects San Francisco and Los Angeles, the wasteland of my birth which I escaped as soon as humanly possible and only return to un...
  • Return to Grift
    22 Nov 2021 • 3 min read
    The dolly was piled higher than my height; its contents weighed more than myself. It was an absurd amount of printers, and I knew that, but I need you to know I exercised restraint when purchasing the...
  • Hollywood’s Expendables
    15 Nov 2021 • 5 min read
    It’s not worth dying over. And yet, people do. Even if they don’t physically die, they are the living dead, the walking wounded, expected to drive trucks and lift metal and operate heavy equipment on ...
  • A Star, as All Things, Is Temporary
    01 Nov 2021 • 4 min read
    I once read that, while shooting the film Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor refused to work whenever she was on her period. I think about this as I watch the wad of single-ply toilet paper I’ve collected to...
  • Dancing For Money
    25 Oct 2021 • 6 min read
    I am, in spite of the importance of uniqueness that was instilled in every child of my post-Boomer generation, like you, regardless of the date on which your mother chose life. While there are many th...
  • Things Like This Don’t Happen to People Like Me
    18 Oct 2021 • 6 min read
    Now, you may find this impossible to believe, but I really don’t cry all that often. By and large, there are only three things that can make me, or anyone, for that matter, cry: joy, despondency, or a...
  • Put Me on Top or Change the Odds
    10 Oct 2021 • 5 min read
    It is the end of a twelve hour work day and I am catatonically smoking, crying, and staring at a concrete wall. “I can’t even write about it,” I sigh, “which is the only thing that would make the whol...
  • The House Always Wins, Which is Why I Rent
    04 Oct 2021 • 1 min read
    For someone who doesn’t drink, gamble, shop, eat at restaurants branded with the bloated visage of a television personality, enjoy staring at undulating water displays, wear my mask below my nose, or ...
  • Use Your Freedom of Choice
    27 Sep 2021 • 4 min read
    The world is ending, yes, but it’s always been. This is no surprise. It is surprising, however, to watch a band that has existed for half a century continue to give a shit about anything, up to and in...
  • Someone Else’s Memories
    20 Sep 2021 • 6 min read
    If you want to buy something from Amoeba, you can, nothing’s stopping you. But if you want to sell something to Amoeba you have to stand in a line outside until a man too old to be wearing a studded b...
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