Kruger’s Newsletter

Alex Kruger
I mostly write non-fiction that reads like fiction.
Created 15 Jan 2021
  • Finding a phone number for my mother
    08 Dec 20211 day ago • 5 min read • 26 1
    I wrote this piece a couple of months ago. — I’m living in Fort Myers to see a doctor about my balance issues. I don’t like living in Fort Myers. My closest friend here is my very attractive Christian...
  • On my grandmother
    23 Nov 2021 • 3 min read • 23 2
    When I was nine years old I wanted to be an architect. And an astronaut. But I don’t trust 9-year-old me. He also wanted a wife. He probably still does. That's the funny thing about change that we don...
  • Meditating sucks
    09 Nov 2021 • 3 min read • 26 2
    I don’t enjoy meditating. I’m aware that I’m not ~chill~. One of my legs is always bouncing. I crack my knuckles and bite my fingers. Not my nails, my fingers. Perhaps sitting on the floor with my leg...
  • I play mahjong. Hbu
    26 Oct 2021 • 7 min read • 14 0
    I’m living in Fort Myers and don’t have any friends. I went to synagogue to try and make some. The next morning, I was invited to play a game. “Well, that’s because you don’t have any crack,” said Jod...
  • I shouldn't be allowed to drive. Also, on Friday, you missed a cool Hindu holiday
    19 Oct 2021 • 5 min read • 16 1
    I’m not a good driver. I shouldn’t be allowed to drive. And you, the people, shouldn’t let me use your roads. When I say this, everyone always thinks that my bad driving is due to the balance disorder...
  • I am to marry
    11 Oct 2021 • 2 min read • 22 0
    When I first saw him, it was love at first sight. This man from Hinge, who I am to marry. Subscribe now “Yes sweetie,” I’ll soon say to him when he wakes up, “I added a ‘tiny splash of oat milk and a ...
  • "6% of adults in this zip code have HIV (not just gays)," and other fun things I've learned from cold-hearted doctors
    05 Oct 2021 • 5 min read • 19 0
    I have a thing for doctors. I’m drawn to them, for reasons I’ll never understand. Perhaps in a past life I was a WWII nurse who fell in love with a hot army surgeon, or maybe I was a patient in a psyc...
  • Preparing to see a psychic
    27 Sep 2021 • 6 min read • 27 0
    Subscribe now Last week my mother and I were at brunch in Fort Myers, Florida. We were talking about drugs and the universe and how there are things we’ll both never understand. “Well, for example,” s...
  • Hope or something like it
    20 Sep 2021 • 8 min read • 21 1
    Subscribe now Right now I'm wearing a cervical neck collar while sitting on my patio in Florida. Specifically, I'm in our "lanai" which is an outdoor patio enclosed by a floor-to-ceiling mesh screen, ...
  • The dating board template [Trello]
    12 May 2021 • 2 min read • 23 2
    Subscribe now Hey all, I’ve partnered with Trello and made an official template for people to use to try and figure out how to not be alone based on the NY Times article. You’ll be able to clone the t...
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