My Sweet Dumb Brain

Katie Hawkins-Gaar
A newsletter about facing life's ups and downs, all while being kind to yourself.
Created 29 May 2019
  • And then, one
    12 Oct 2021 • 3 min read • 25 11
    Hi, friends. I was planning to write today’s newsletter about something else. But as I started—and kept getting stuck—I considered how momentous this week is, and how much I needed to process it. So I...
  • For your sweet dumb brain: In defense of dating
    08 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 7 7
    One of the reasons I write about grief is because it is so often misunderstood and mismanaged by society. We are told to “move on,” to “cheer up,” to “get over it.” And yet, at the same time, grieving...
  • Do I want to see him again?
    05 Oct 2021 • 7 min read • 11 4
    On September 16, 2017, I posted a plea for advice on a Facebook group for young widows. “Hi friends,” I began. “I’m seven and a half months out from losing my husband of eight years. I’m also a month ...
  • For your sweet dumb brain: Tonguing the gap
    01 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 8 8
    I heard a description of grief a few months ago, and haven’t been able to get it out of my head ever since. Writer and artist Katrina Goldsaito described mourning someone as “tonguing the gap,” like y...
  • ‘What else is there to live for?’
    28 Sep 2021 • 4 min read • 12 9
    This is an especially busy week for me. My to-do lists are teeming. Each day’s schedule is precarious—filled with meetings that must be attended and tasks that must be completed at particular times. T...
  • For your sweet dumb brain: Lies I’ve told myself
    24 Sep 2021 • < 1 min read • 8 2
    Here’s a list of “happily ever after” lies that I’ve told myself. I’ll finally be happy when: I lose weight. I write a book. I reach 500 paying newsletter subscribers (ha). I take time off work. I fix...
  • This is not our forever home
    21 Sep 2021 • 5 min read • 17 14
    This is not our house. It sure is pretty. Last week, Billy and I officially became homeowners. We closed on the house we’ve been renting since April, which, most excitingly, means that we don’t have t...
  • For your sweet dumb brain: Moving forward
    17 Sep 2021 • < 1 min read • 6 4
    This week, I wrote about one of my favorite topics: Grief. More specifically, I wrote about the many metaphors we use to describe it. People describe grief as coming in waves, like a monster lurking i...
  • The many metaphors of grief
    14 Sep 2021 • 5 min read • 10 12
    There are a lot of metaphors out there to describe grief. Grief is a roller coaster. It’s a journey. It’s a river you must wade into to get to the other side. The writer Arthur Golden described grief ...
  • For your sweet dumb brain: Give and take
    10 Sep 2021 • < 1 min read • 3 0
    Tuesday’s essay topic, which was about my family’s newfound love of screen-free Saturdays, was pretty light—at least compared to the subjects I usually tackle. Today’s newsletter is similarly lighthea...
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