Still Here For Some Reason

Rebecca Madison
I write about my experiences in the sex industry and life in general.
Created 10 Sep 2020
  • 45.
    13 Oct 2021 • 3 min read
    I lean down to kiss him and when I feel him kiss me back I think I’m going to start crying. But I don’t want him to think I’m crazy so I hold back the tears and channel all my energy into telling him ...
  • 44.
    08 Oct 2021 • 8 min read
    I’m startled by sounds that seem to come out of nowhere. Moans, desperate gasps. Jonah’s hands are on my hips. My hair is falling in his face, my hands pressing down on his shoulders. He pulls my shir...
  • 43.
    02 Oct 2021 • 7 min read
    I tell Zoey the date went really well. “Oh, that’s great!” she says. “Did you tell him about your, uh, work?” “Oh,” I say. “Um, no. But I would. I think I would. If I keep seeing him I will.” I hadn’t...
  • 42.
    16 Sep 2021 • 4 min read
    I’m hurt when he asks when we last saw each other. “It’s been what, two and a half years?” “No,” I say. I frown, knowing he can’t see me. “It was last year. Just before the border closed. You came up ...
  • 41.
    11 Sep 2021 • 5 min read
    I beg Ben to leave his sweater with me when he has to go home to San Francisco. “It smells like you,” I say. “Can I borrow it? Please?” “Fine,” he says. “But maybe you can take it to get patched up or...
  • 40.
    07 Sep 2021 • 6 min read
    “Will you see a black man, honey?” The way she asks makes me realize Madame K’s other girls won’t see black clients. I frown. Last week she yelled at me when I told her I thought a client had an STI a...
  • 39.
    10 Aug 2021 • 8 min read
    “Let me in.” I jump because I didn’t realize Allie was behind me. I’m sitting on the edge of the bath tub, halfway through drying my feet off after a shower. “This isn’t what you promised me,” she sai...
  • 38.
    08 Jul 2021 • 4 min read
    I have been writing for months but I haven’t shared any of it with anyone. I have enjoyed writing for myself - writing just to get the words out, not trying to communicate with or be understood by any...
  • 37.
    07 May 2021 • 1 min read
    When I was actively touring I often forgot which city I was in and where I was going. Once I showed up to the airport in Boston, presented my passport and said, “I’m on the flight to Boston.” The agen...
  • 36.
    24 Apr 2021 • 5 min read
    I haven’t been downtown in weeks. I’m sitting on the steps of a church on Douglas Street. The last time I was here I needed a big jacket, but it is hot now. Women are wearing sundresses and sandals an...
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