Surrender Now

free for all!
Stories about my personal experience of miracles and the miraculous.
Created 01 May 2021
  • II.i. Goodbye to Melbourne
    02 Oct 2021 • 9 min read • 2 0
    By the end of January, 2013, I was ready to leave my life in Melbourne behind forever. For two years I had laboured away at recovery, holding myself together with a complex regimen of wellness discipl...
  • Ebooks & Substack Recommendations
    25 Sep 2021 • 5 min read • 2 1
    Ebooks. For those of you who have enjoyed Volume I of Surrender Now, here is a link to the .epub version which you can download, share with friends, or even pass off as your own. The ebook is also ava...
  • Snippets from Volume II.
    20 Sep 2021 • 16 min read
    The second volume of Surrender Now, ‘Adventure and Awakening,’ will be ready to launch on Sunday October 3, 2021. Subscribe now This story is about what happened when I recovered enough from the addic...
  • xviii. Withdrawal
    18 Sep 2021 • 5 min read • 2 0
    My story with Pascal was finished, for now; he had helped me, through the gentleness of his nature and authenticity of his presence, to relinquish what I needed to in order to grow into the next chapt...
  • xvii. Stradbroke
    11 Sep 2021 • 8 min read • 1 0
    So close to the centre of Brisbane city, on the very edge of that weird flat suburb of Cleveland full of unappealing retail chains and the walking dead that haunt them, we suddenly dropped away from t...
  • xvi. Beerburrum
    04 Sep 2021 • 7 min read • 3 0
    I wakened early the following morning and took a breath deep into my belly: presence. My eyelids shot open and beheld the ceiling fan, feeling the strains of aliveness coursing through my limbs; there...
  • xv. Adventure
    28 Aug 2021 • 8 min read • 2 0
    Now we have finally reached a part of the story that, at last, makes me happy with the prospect of retelling: the moment where things began to transform in my life in pursuit of the miraculous. I had ...
  • This post is full of triggers.
    21 Aug 2021 • 9 min read • 8 7
    About trauma. Trigger warning. Last month I ventured to publish the phrase ‘I don’t know much about trauma’ as part of this series of reflections. On the day following publication, our son of 16 month...
  • xiv. Queenslander
    14 Aug 2021 • 6 min read
    I trod up the back stairs and met Pascal in the kitchen; we met warmly, with a hug, and the dark feelings I had carried up from Melbourne began to recede in the glow of light fluttering in my heart. I...
  • xiii. Graduate
    07 Aug 2021 • 8 min read • 1 0
    It went on and on, that time of despair. It went on to the point where I not only staggered around on aching ankles and walked crooked and hunched over, with my fingernails bitten down beyond the quic...
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