The Do-Everythings

The Do-Everythings
I'm going out tonight.
Created 27 Jun 2021
  • Unclosed Mouths (Chapter 1, full PDF attached)
    01 Nov 2021 • 13 min read
    The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or ...
  • Strongest boy at Purcell Mountain School Summer Camp
    31 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read
    Summer camp after 7th grade, I called a popular girl fat to her face, and then I ran away. I got away with it, which is not to say it rolled off her like water on neoprene, but no one really said anyt...
  • A section from Dogface: Last Summer Went, Right?
    29 Oct 2021 • 13 min read
    Jane, Beth, Carter and I watch Bart roll up and down the Wall for the third time. The Wall is the parking lot side of the Film building. The eponymous wall is banked at a slight angle, and its bottom ...
  • Turn this off
    29 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read
    "No, man, turn this off." "Come on, it rips-" "No, no, something else." "Are you serious? It's Pinkpa-" "No." "I'm not-I'm not your teenage girlfriend. This is my car-" "No." "Is this because your mom...
  • "I Hate You 2 Lil Nigga"
    27 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read
    The woman my dad flew to Jamaica today to marry has a kid, I think. The 25-year-old individual from whom I am trying to suss out a "vibe" is helping their mom and their sister raise their elder sister...
  • Another section from Dogface: 2: Work to do
    21 Oct 2021 • 10 min read
    "Check this out," Bart says, giggling. On his phone, he's pulled up a picture of this girl we know, in full clown makeup. "Why is SAIC like that?" I say. It's a hot and muddy Wednesday afternoon, and ...
  • A section from "Dogface"
    09 Oct 2021 • 8 min read
    That Saturday, move-in night, I sit around in Bart's apartment and watch the underclassmen we skate with drink and pinch each other in his living room. These guys I hang out with when Bart’s not aroun...
  • Mantras (these people are my age)
    09 Oct 2021 • 2 min read
    I am an artist. I make the animated banners you unlock in Call of Duty games. I am 24 years old. I didn't teach at Woodward; I attended, as a camper, seven summers in a row. I am on a large dose of Pr...
  • I'm going out tonight.
    27 Jun 2021 • < 1 min read
    Welcome to The Do-Everythings. Fiction and nonfiction. A serialized novella, “Dogface,” about downwardly mobile 22-year-olds who sip beer and piss too often. Occasional personal essays, reviews and ri...
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