The Ugly Duckling

Cyan Banister
From being homeless to becoming a VC. My story.
Created 29 May 2020
  • (35) Searching For Family and Home With Cuddles
    13 Oct 2021 • 5 min read • 7 4
    We’ve come to the part where I’m going to embarrass myself—a lot. There is, dear reader, no way around it. I promise you my writings aren’t about my dating life but I dated a lot when I was younger an...
  • Took a break but coming back!
    12 Oct 2021 • < 1 min read • 10 0
    The hard thing about spilling your guts online is that it has an emotional toll. Nobody did or said anything that was upsetting, as a matter of fact I’ve had a lot of nudges of encouragement from read...
  • Joyriding with the gutter punks (34)
    18 Jun 2021 • 5 min read • 3 2
    Towards the summer’s close, Ellyn went to the courthouse to get custody of me. She wanted to “keep” me. But could she? Being kept – really being wanted – was a foreign concept for me. Most people, my ...
  • Ellyn Davis
    13 May 2021 • < 1 min read • 6 6
    A reader/follower of my Twitter feed found Ellyn. I wasn’t able to find her because, well, I spelled her name incorrectly all of these years. Becky is also Becca. This shows how faulty our memories ca...
  • Better late than never (33)
    07 May 2021 • 8 min read • 10 2
    I entered the Davis house with nothing but what was in my bag—the sum of all my possessions. I had neither toiletries nor underwear nor the simple sorts of things that make life bearable, survivable. ...
  • Asshole watch (32)
    28 Apr 2021 • 5 min read • 10 1
    Josh and I saw each other every moment we could find. Crucially he had a car – a dark emerald green AMC Hornet, which had “FUCK AUTHORITY” spray-painted on one side and an anarchy symbol on the other....
  • Josh (31)
    15 Apr 2021 • 6 min read • 8 2
    Life may be a video game, but some of us have a few of the cheat codes. Here’s one of mine: I am never playing the game I appear to be playing. Indeed, I often have hidden longer-term ambitions that a...
  • I did it, with a boy. (30)
    05 Mar 2021 • 4 min read • 7 1
    I shaved my hair around the top of my ears and the back of my neck, so when I put up my hair in a ponytail or bun, it looked pretty badass, but when I put it down, my mother wouldn’t notice. She rarel...
  • The Bridge (29)
    28 Jan 2021 • 6 min read • 7 1
    Sometimes you can’t begin again, even when you want to. When I returned to school in Flagstaff, I came from a school where I was a freshman, but I was a sophomore in this school. No, I never got to ex...
  • I like freaking (28)
    30 Dec 2020 • 7 min read • 4 3
    The night that I saw Freddy at the library, I went to bed, confused. I wanted to flee my situation, but I didn’t know where to go or who to turn to. When I woke up in the morning, I had a bruise acros...
  • View More on Substack »