Collected Rejections

Valorie Clark
Essays that editors weren’t brave enough to publish.
Created 25 Feb 2020
  • 038: A prodigal return, and other unsexy metaphors
    15 Sep 2021 • 5 min read
    This is a free post from Collected Rejections. Get these emails directly into your inbox by subscribing right here: Subscribe now Hi friends, I wanted to start off by saying, “I’m back!” but I think t...
  • 037: On Fashioning a Fallow Period
    27 Jul 2021 • 4 min read • 1 0
    Hi friends, I don’t think I’m going to say anything surprising here, anything that no one else in any of our lives is saying: I’m burnt out. Do I really need to count the ways and reasons? There’s bee...
  • 036: Lichtenstein’s Terrifying, Untouchable Women
    04 Jul 2021 • 8 min read
    Hi friends, When I last wrote, I mentioned that I had hired Sarah von Bargen to help me restructure my digital business and online life. It’s funny—a couple of weeks before I had talked about how clar...
  • 035: How Doing Ecstasy Saved My Life
    22 Jun 2021 • 8 min read
    Hey friends, I’m still feeling the same strange and spacey energy that I was two weeks ago. A lot of you responded to that last essay sharing that you were sort of feeling the same—caught between two ...
  • 034: It’s a Between Thing
    06 Jun 2021 • 4 min read
    Hello friends, I’ve been in a strange in-between mental headspace lately. Blame it on Mercury in retrograde, on the world slowly returning to normal, on the June Gloom that has settled over Los Angele...
  • 033: I Proved It With Math
    02 Jun 2021 • 7 min read
    Hi friends, In 2019, I did a series on my now-defunct Tumblr looking at Friends and how the series would have to change in order to make it work 25 years later. I examined how the storylines change if...
  • 032: Some Things I Should Have Sent
    23 May 2021 • 4 min read
    Hi friends! It’s going to be a short letter from me this week folks. Life took an unexpected turn about 10 days ago and suddenly I’m back working at the museum I was laid off from in April of last yea...
  • Dear Dorothy: How Do I Hide My Imposter Syndrome?
    16 May 2021 • 3 min read
    Inspired by the sharp wit and no-nonsense advice that Dorothy Shaw gives in Gentleman Prefer Blondes, I’m starting a monthly advice column right here in Collected Rejections! It will be sweary, honest...
  • 030: What to do when you can't get history "right."
    09 May 2021 • 8 min read
    Hi friends, I’m writing to you from a coffee shop, something I haven’t done since March 2020. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be able to sit on a patio and type my little stories on my little iP...
  • 029: Black Tea: Tea and the Gothic
    02 May 2021 • 6 min read
    Hi friends, As promised, it’s time for the first-ever Collected Rejections guest author essay! I’m so excited to host historian Dr. Anna Maria Barry writing about the Victorians being weird about tea ...
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